Home > Personal, Uncategorized > Let’s be frank here….

Let’s be frank here….

I’ve been dying to get back on a horse again, train 6 times a week, get home late and do all my homework until the wee hours of the night. I miss getting ready for shows the night before, washing and plaiting ‘my’ horse when the whole yard was empty. The time I got to spend with horses was holy; I would talk to them and have the radio booming in the background not caring what people thought if they passed by.

I never gave up my dream of becoming a professional rider willingly. I was forced but yet again I wasn’t entirely. I got my fair portion of reality and opinions about my future career choices. Was it ‘tasty’? No, not at all; it was like having your first cigar. It made me cough and revolt. The study I’m doing now is fun and all but not really what I want. Sure I’m excelling more than ever before but it’s not what I’m after.

Not everybody is as fortunate. We don’t all get to pursue our dreams the way we want to. I first have to finish this course (which mind you is four years) and then the chance that I’m still able to and allowed to pick up where I left off with horse riding is awfully small. Some days I get up my hopes to find out later that they’re shattered within seconds. I got luck in a different aspect of my life which I’m neither ungrateful nor grateful for.

What if? There’s always that burning question I dare not to think about. I’ve tried introducing the idea to the people who help me but they all shake their heads and tell me to forget it. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not blaming those people of crushing my dreams but myself. If I had pushed more towards my dreams earlier then I might not have ended up where I am now.



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